Traveling through

The last few weeks have gone by fast! I’ve gotten to take two mini roadtrips, one a day trip to Illinois and the other a fantastic weekend getaway to visit friends in minneapolis. It was a blast! Roadtripping with my girls, rocking out with 80′s and country music, starbucks, shopping. All night gab fests. Does it get much better? I don’t think so. I’ve been catching up on my sleep all week. School has been trying to kick my butt, without success I add happily. I’ve been working hard, and my grades are showing, which is fab. Sometimes it feels like I work hard without and don’t see the fruits of my labor, but this semester I really am. I’m really hoping I can finish the first half of the semester strong, spring break starts on Friday afternoon, after 3 midterms, 2 quizzes a paper and a few lab reports. Then a week to try to have fun, recuperate and be ready to go for the final 8 weeks of Spring ’10.

Little Darling, It’s been a Long, Cold, Lonely Winter

Little Darling, it feels like years since it’s been here… HERE COMES THE SUN

it was out today! The sun was shining, and it was amazing. I’ve missed it! Sun shine is fabulous. I’ve been really down lately and the nasty weather hasn’t helped. Then today the sun was shining and it was perfect and peaceful and I thought maybe, just maybe I can make it through.

The smiles are returning to the faces

With You, Without You

Today several of the gals in some of my nursing classes realized that we have two big exams the day after Valentine’s Day. They were all complaining about how this is going to ruin their valentine’s day. They have to choose between a career or their boys. I agreed that my valentine’s weekend would also be ruined. Partly because its weird to admit there’s really no one in my life to a bunch of girls I hardly know, but also because my valentine’s plans are messed up now. I planned to fill my weekend with movies filled with handsome men with fabulous accents. Actually, it’s a pretty ideal way to spend valentine’s day. too bad I have to skip out on them to study now.

If I Fell

When I fall, I’m going to fall hard. It’s inevitable. One day I will be totally and completely swept off my feet. I’d better, I’ll be sad if I’m not. But I also worry. What if I fall hard, and he doesn’t feel as strongly as I do? What if it’s just a joke to him? Weird. No prospects but I still worry as if there are. Maybe my first worry should be where I’m going to find this boy to sweep me off my feet.

She said, She said

I spend a lot of time people watching. Lately I’ve been relationship watching. I guess its one of those, “those who can do, and those who can’t… observe” or something to that affect. But in some ways I wonder if I have the better end of the bargain. I’ve been watching, people I know, people I don’t. Those who are married, engaged, dating, flirting. I’m watching and I’m wondering if it’s worth it. The relationships, I mean. I couldn’t see myself happy in most of the circumstances. There are a few couples who make me think, ‘yes, it must be wonderful,’ my parents included, but most others make me cringe. I know that I’m not them, I’m just looking in from the outside so I really have no clue, and who am I to judge. I’ve never even had a relationship. I wonder though, if some of these people are just so scared of ending up alone that they’re just jumping into the first relationship they can find with just enough determination to make it work. Sometimes I wonder if the countless fairy tales, movies and novels have ruined me for anything less than a teeth rattling, eye rolling head over heels, can’t get you out of my mind love. I want to be knocked soundly off my feet and into love. I want more. I look at so many couples and wonder if they’re just settling. I want to be wooed. It doesn’t have to be huge, just things that tell me he’s thought of me, and he knows me. I want to think I can not live without him. I want to be so attracted to him. I know, I know, I’m really young, and I’ve got time, but it’s weird when you’ve never had anyone who was attracted to you, and you’ve never really had a crush on anyone who wasn’t a movie or rock star.
Right now it feels like I’ll be alone forever. Or maybe I’ll find myself in one of these relationships I’ve been observing with a man I can tolerate because I’m just too scared to be alone forever.

Help!

Here we are back for another semester of fun and games. It’s a drag.

No, it’s not that bad, the first few days are just hard right now. All I want to do is stay wrapped up in a cocoon of blankets and hibernate until sometime in mid-March. Instead it’s day two and I’m already feeling a bit swamped. Second day for Micro, A&P II and Religion tomorrow and I already have quizzes in all three. Feeling a little overwhelmed, especially when I already need to start making decisions about classes for next fall. Mostly, I’m just feeling lazy. I’m really excited to start learning again, I just wanted a few days to get back in the groove. No such luck this semester. I started out my first day of Spring ’10 with a ten hour day. Yes, ten hours. On mondays. Every monday.  Help!

please please me

Ever read a book that was so good you could not stand to put it down. It was so good you just couldn’t wait to finish it because you just had to know what happened, but at the same time didn’t want to finish because you would never be able to read it fresh and experience all the feelings again. That was the book I recently read. I haven’t read a story that consumed me that much in ages. I spent 3 days holed away in my room reading, coming out only for basic necessities, and having to babysit, which was torture because I couldn’t stop thinking about the story. I fell totally, hopelessly, utterly in love. I sobbed for hours when my heart was broken. I felt a healing balm cover the scab and give a reason to continue, only to be viciously torn off a few scenes later. Feeling of anticipation at the coming surprise promised by a friend. Anew hope and trepidation when he walked back into her life, followed quickly by hopeless abandon, he is perfect, he would never hurt you again. The growing trust and finally back to those exhilerating feeling of love again. As it came to a close all I wanted to do was keep reading at the same time I never wanted to finish it because nothing would ever again be the same. I couldn’t read it and feel the same because I would know each twist, and know that things would be ok. This was one story where I really had no idea what was going to happen.

It’s been about a week and a half since I finished the somehow it still has a hold on me. I’ve been dreaming this story since I read it. Every song I hear perfectly matches a scene, a mood, and line of dialog from this story. I think I am going to go insane.

Sometimes a story just grabs you and holds on. This is one that I don’t want to let go.

Blue Eyes

I love comedies. I love romantic romps. And I love English accents ( i secretly hope I marry a man with an english accent) So tonight I found a movie which contained all three, ‘Micky Blue Eyes.’ It was hilarious. I laughed so hard. The best scene in the movie is called “Learning the Lingo” I could watch it over and over again. So funny! Hugh Grant is like my favorite ever, at least right now. Actually to be honest I think I’ve only seen 3-4 movies with him, but I love them!

Hello, Goodbye

11 days into 2010. Kind of crazy. It’s been a weird few weeks. I’ve been busy, busy wasting time, but as a man once said “time you enjoyed wasting is not wasted.” And I have quite enjoyed wasting the time. I’m still on Christmas break, thankfully! I’m not quite sure what to do with my free time, and feel a little bad wasting it because I know by april I’ll be wishing I still had the free time I do now. Too bad there is no way to save some of it.

I spent new years day watching two movies… ‘Help’ and ‘A Hard Day’s Night.” Can I just say how amazing I thought they were. Witty and hilarious. I think I’m in love, but with whom I’m not sure yet. One moment I’m sure it is Paul, and a second later it has to be Ringo, then George walks in… I just don’t know what to do. So I watch more and try to make up my mind and the whole process starts over. You can see my dilemma, I’m sure… 

My break has included lots of time well spent with friends, and sadly sending them back to school this past weekend. I’ve spent alot of time and money shopping for clothes and music, two of my favorite things. I’ve gotten some pretty amazing deals on both. I’ve also begun working on my music again. I’m not a good musician by any means, but I listen to a tune and a few minutes later be plunking out the melody on a piano or strumming the chords on guitar, or picking my way through the bass line. I haven’t quite mastered drumming yet, but we’ll get there eventually, I hope. I hope one day I can learn to read music as well, but that may be a lost cause.

I don’t think there is anything I want more than to be able to play well. The problem is I have no time for lessons. Okay, yes I’ve got 3 weeks every december/january but the rest of the time is crazy.  And I really don’t have the patience for lessons. I don’t want to learn how to play classical piano, I just want to know a little more of what I’m doing. How can I put some more interesting notes into my plunking, strumming the picking? So while I debate lessons, I continue listening and learning on my own. Maybe in twenty more years I’ll have figured out enough to do something with, but who wants to listen to a 40 year old rock ‘n roller? But as another man once said “age only matters if you’re cheese”

Head

Happy Birthday to 2 of my 4 favorite Monkees! Mike and Davy, 67 and 64 respectively. How cool would it have been to share a birthday with them?! Shucks, I was a day early.  Anyway, I love them and here’s wishing them many more happy years to come. And hopefully one more tour together that I would love to have the priviledge of seeing ! Please? oh well, I will be content with watching my favorite episodes in honor of them.

Happy Birthday Mike and Davy!

also the anniversary the second release of their movie-HEAD, where I got the title for this blog. (it aired in 1974, on their 32nd and 29th birthdays)